Epilogue to UNHEARD: a memoir by Susanna Hartigan

The epilogue was not included in my ebook, so I wanted to post it here for those who purchased it.

Epilogue

Capitalizing the title UNHEARD was intentional, because it represents the things inside of us that are screaming to be heard. I had often asked myself “Why me?” and wondered what was wrong with me as a person, because I had had so many difficulties in many relationships. I hated myself for many years, judging myself harshly for any little mistake that I made, continually finding myself in self-destructive patterns, and wanting to end my life. For years, I chose friends and lovers that did not serve my spiritual well being. Instead, I was choosing what I had known – I had allowed others to bully me, insult me, and treat me with inhumane disrespect. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t see the patterns and heartache that I was causing myself. Acknowledging my mistakes was my first step towards healing. As difficult as it was, I knew that another step towards the healing process was to cut ties with any and all virulent relationships, even if it meant long-term friends and my own family members.

Writing UNHEARD was a great form of therapy for me. Being my own editor forced me to review the patterns in significant relationships throughout my life. It enlightened me in more ways than years of counseling had accomplished. I had finally begun to realize that all of my adult relationships were being replayed from my childhood.

I cannot blame anyone for my own weaknesses, nor can I continue to condemn myself. Alternatively, I can only learn from my experiences and accept them for what they are; it is the only way to move on.

UNHEARD is the first of a series of memoirs in the making. In writing UNHEARD, my intention is to help others who are also struggling with the same demons, with the hope that they may find the healing they need and deserve.

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UNHEARD: a memoir – by Susanna Hartigan – Paperback Available NOW!

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UNHEARD: a memoir
by Susanna Hartigan
Copyright ©2010

Written from the perspective of a child, Susanna Hartigan’s life was forever changed when her mother married an abusive alcoholic that managed the household’s every move. When her father married a born-again religious fanatic, Susanna felt she had no one. Although the two families appeared very opposite on the outside, both had unhealthy addictions that fed Susanna’s fear and self-loathing. She was shuffled between living with her mother and father, having no real place to call home. Brainwashed by adults, along with being bullied by classmates, Susanna developed an OCD disorder by the time she was nine. By the time she was fourteen, Susanna decided suicide was the only option to end the life of pain and misery. A childhood marked with fear, abandonment, poverty, racism, and sexual and mental abuse, Susanna remained hopeless until the day she was rescued from the madness of being unheard – thanks to her school teachers and grandparents – the only people that believed in her.

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ISBN 978-0-615-42171-1
Copyright Susanna Hartigan (Standard Copyright License)
Edition First Edition
Pages 144