I was lying in the hammock today, and I guess it finally hit me. My husband is leaving in two months for an entire year. I’ll get to see him, but we don’t know how often or for how long. It’s going to be very different around here. I’m so used to having him around. I didn’t realize until now that I’m really going to miss him.
It’s funny, because when we first met, my husband was gone a lot for his job. I was working full time as a teacher, so I was always busy and I looked forward to my “time off”. It made us appreciate each other. When we transferred to our current location, he was home a lot more. Things were different. I was so used to being single for a long time, then gradually seeing each other…. Then seeing each other every day. Now I’m not going to be seeing him for weeks or months at a time.
He’s supposed to be deployed often. That’s really scary for me. This is my biggest fear – losing him. I’ve always had this fear that the one person that loves me is going to die. Is it a fear? A premonition? Both?