Recently, I had a conversation with some female friends about how annoying it is when we’re asleep, and our partner wakes us up to have sex. Not just wakes us, but wakes us up out of a dead sleep, rubbing us, poking us, or whatever it takes to get our attention – even if it means flipping us around to gain entrance – even when we push them away. All of us agreed that it’s not only annoying, it pisses us off – and it’s disturbing. If a man thinks his penis is more important than our need for sleep and consent, something is seriously wrong with him. I don’t care how long you’ve known each other or how long you’ve been together.
I do know this, however – our culture has raised women to believe we owe the man something just because he’s our partner or maybe because he took us on a few dates. Not only our culture, but religions that tell its followers that a woman must keep her man satisfied, even if it makes her unhappy. It’s total bullshit. I personally know women that have given in to a man’s wishes just to shut him up, satisfy him, keep him happy, etc. I’m sure some women reading this have done the same; I have been just as guilty in the past. Turn the tables around, and if a man doesn’t want sex, he’s just not going to have it. Period.
Personally, I think it’s “rapey” for a man to do these things. One friend said it’s not “rapey” – it’s just rape. It’s disgusting. Another friend said this:
“Such a man has no respect for his partner. He’s selfish and only thinks of his own desires. Nobody owes anyone else sex – ever. Fullstop. If this guy is so horny, he can easily go to another room and take care of his own problem without disturbing his sleeping partner. Where are these guys learning about intimate relationships, porn?”
Another woman’s opinion:
“He can take care of himself in the bathroom. Know my answer would have been different when I was young, but at this point not doing anything that I’m not into.”
From a friend that has dealt with the same issue:
“My ex used to do that to the point that eventually he bent me over and had his way while i was out in my studio and took what he wanted anyway. Its called nonconsensual sex. It should NEVER happen and a real man would get that.”
Try to get a man to do something he doesn’t want to do – and I’m not talking about mowing the lawn or fixing the toilet – and it’s not going to happen. So why is it okay for some men to think it’s okay to wake a sleeping partner for their own selfish gratification or demand something from women they supposedly like or love to satisfy their wants? It’s barbaric and gross – and men need to be taught that women are humans, not objects for their worldly desires.