Ex Boyfriend Says He Loves Me, Then Doesn’t Respond

Dear Susanna,

I’m in my 40s and trying to reconnect with my boyfriend from high school. He seems interested but not very responsive all the time, and this has been going on for years. Either he’s intense telling me he loves me or simply doesn’t respond. He’s single, never married, and living in L.A. This has been going on for several years. I always wanted to move to Cali, but first I want to see if there’s still a connection. But I feel like when he doesn’t respond something is up. I also suspect he’s an alcoholic. What should I do?

— Up North

Dear Up North,

First and foremost, if he’s an alcoholic, run far and run fast! More than likely when he’s not responding to you in a reasonable manner, he’s out drinking or passed out. Having any sort of relationship with an alcoholic usually results in failure, unless maybe you’re an alcoholic, too.

I would also suspect that he’s probably seeing other women, especially given the distance and the fact that you haven’t actually reconnected… in years? Where exactly is he when he’s telling you he loves you? If he were truly interested in you, he’d have found a way to reconnect in person instead of calling or sending messages at his own convenience… unless you’re this woman, of course.

It doesn’t seem like he loves you like he says, because it sounds like he doesn’t even love himself. I would move on.

— Susanna

Need advice? Send your questions to me on my contact page.

One thought on “Ex Boyfriend Says He Loves Me, Then Doesn’t Respond

  1. Good advice! No sense in wasting our precious time worrying about one guy…especially if you’re in your 40’s. There are plenty of fish in the sea – we just need to stay away from the sharks!

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